 by Katy Butler (Author), Scribner (February 19, 2019) ISBN: 1501135317 Award-winning journalist Katy Butler, an authority on end-of-life issues, has written a book that all of us need. The Art of Dying Well is a practical, easy to read guide to making the best of our later years, even when we have a chronic medical condition. It is sensibly organized according to how far along the spectrum of frailty we are, with suggestions of the steps we need to take. The stages she defines are Resilience, Slowing Down, Adaptation, Awareness of Mortality, House of Cards, Preparing for a Good Death, and Active Dying. Each chapter in the book has a defining checklist. When we are Resilient, we may find that “aches, pains and health problems are annoying but not limiting” and we may wonder why they make the numbers on credit cards “so small and fuzzy.” During the second stage, Slowing Down, we may be taking at least three medications regularly and find that blowing out the candles on our last birthday cake was a little harder. Awareness of Mortality enters when doctors won’t discuss our prognosis; they will use terms like “chronic, progressive, serious, advanced, late stage or end stage,” when what they mean is “incurable, worsening, worse yet, and approaching end of life.”
House of Cards is a wake-up call; the zest for life is melting away, we can’t walk half a mile unaided, and we’ve lost ten percent of our body weight in the past year. It’s followed by Preparing for a Good Death, which we should be doing when doctors say they wouldn’t be surprised if we died within a year, or cancer has returned after two or more rounds of treatment and we decide not to undergo more. Active Dying, the last stage, is what it sounds like; we stop eating, need to be helped to the bathroom, and may nap for hours, speak little, and keep our eyes closed. You might think that all of these chapters are depressing to read, but that is not the case. Butler is positive throughout, helping us see that our experiences are normal and need not be something to fear. The end-of-life stages are part of a natural process of losing energy. We are born with energy and may have lots of energy well into our later years. But then it begins very imperceptibly to slip away, for each and every one of us. That is when this book becomes invaluable. It contains straightforward information on how to talk to our medical providers and how to be in charge. There is a 16-page glossary of medical terms that, for this reviewer, was especially helpful. I did not know about “frequent flyers” – crude hospital slang for a frail older person who repeatedly comes to the emergency room – or “cowboys” – doctors who will take inappropriate risks – or “moral distress” – the emotional and spiritual pain of medical staff, forced by hospital protocols or by patients’ families, to do things to patients that cause suffering and violate the clinician’s moral values. Butler is non-judgmental about medical aid in dying (MAID). She reminds us that it isn’t new, that throughout history, “some medical professionals have quietly hastened death when they believed that their moral obligation to relieve suffering overrode a blanket duty to prolong life.” She cites Louis Pasteur, the father of the germ theory of disease, who a hundred years ago helped five farmers in France who’d been bitten by a rabid wolf die by lethal injection. She writes of the growing number of states in America where it is now legal, and of how “planned, voluntarily timed deaths… can be as calm, poignant, and sacred as any other.” Butler’s The Art of Dying Well has been praised by Barbara Ehrenreich, author of Natural Causes, Ira Byock, author of Dying Well, and Lucy Kalanithi, widow of Paul Kalanithi, author of When Breath Becomes Air. It has been praised by a member of my family who, when I gave it to her, stayed up all night reading it. When I want to know what I should be doing next, I will check my behavioral symptoms against Butler’s lists. She will be an ally as I try to figure out how to have an honest conversation with a younger doctor, whether to call 911, and how to make my death a sacred rite of passage instead of a medical event. Review by Susan Gillotti, PCV Board Member
8 Comments
Lewis Cohen
8/20/2019 01:01:39 pm
This is, indeed, an excellent book. 8/23/2019 08:09:23 pm
I am a Chronic Pain Patient, along with having COPD. I watched my Mother die of COPD. In Vermont, we have a Dying with Dignity law. It passed the legislature,3 months after my Mother passed! I have a DNR on my records at the local hospital. Where can I find your book. 8/23/2019 09:26:36 pm
It is available and in stock here on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Dignified-Ending-Taking-Control-Over/dp/1538115743 8/23/2019 09:24:47 pm
Hello Dr. Cohen, I handle communications and digital content for Patient Choices. We would be quite honored to review your new publication. Please send a review copy to me at PO BOX 18, Underhill Center, VT 05490. I will see that we all get to read, review, and publicize it here. It is also possible that we might be able to help organize a speaking event, book signing here in Burlington. I appreciate your kind offer. I also work with the Burlington Writers Workshop so, there is another opportunity to create a special event with non-fiction writers here as well. 4/6/2022 01:49:59 pm
People always talk about mental culture shock when they visit a new place, but your body doesn’t need to experience physical culture shock as well. Take some supplements to try to balance your diet. Make sure you’re getting everything your body needs to stay healthy. 4/21/2022 11:15:09 am
Somehow, the profundity of experience revealed through mindfulness practises is difficult to describe in words. Great article, though.. thank you. 5/6/2022 02:08:01 am
Health wealth is one of the most popular phrases prevailing in almost every language in one way or another. And there is almost no one who will disagree with the phrase because indeed our health is one of the biggest treasures we have. Once we die or our heath loses its value, the wealth in life will also mean nothing for us. Leave a Reply. |
Being Mortal
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A Good Death: Making the Most of Our Final Choices
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"Living Life Dying Death; A Guide to Healthy Conversations about Death and Dying"
by Jenifer Collins Taylor While some see death and dying as taboo subjects, author Jennifer Collins Taylor, MSW approaches the topics with gentle, thought-provoking prose, demonstrating that openly discussing death and dying is as important to the living as it is to those who may be nearing their final breaths. Her book, Living Life Dying Death: A Guide to Healthy Conversations About Death and Dying to Inspire Life and Living, accomplishes its mission through reflective conversation starters that encompass topics such as compassion, dreams, fear, goodbye, gratitude, grief, honesty, hope, humor, joy, mystery, pain, patience, peacefulness, philosophy of life, relationships, spirituality and many more. Most importantly, the book emphasizes that love is triumphant. In times of health readers are encouraged to reflect on, explore and express their beliefs on the very nature of life and living, death and dying. In times of health challenges the book can be used as a guide to initiate difficult conversations when faced with the possible decline and death of self, friend or loved one. In times of grief this book can be used to bring support and hope to the dynamic experience of grieving. Regardless of where readers are on the pathway from life to death, Living Life Dying Death should be readily available to guide, encourage and inspire healthy conversations about death, dying, grief and loss. Living Life Dying Death calls readers to action, prompting them to find the courage and confidence to more openly discuss death, dying, grief and loss. This book stimulates the reader to embrace living well and encourages those approaching life's final journey to trade fear for love, comfort, forgiveness and a sense of awe. Courageous conversations about life and death allow the strength and beauty of the human spirit to shine. 
Take Care of Dying---Get On with Living: End-of-life Planning that Works
by Theo Wells The greatest gift you can give your family and friends is your carefully thought out plan for handling the unexpected events at the end of your life. Here—all in one place—are the basic decisions you need to make as long as you’re living: |
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